Two Words: Tartine Bakery

Ok. OK. 

I know I don't need to be blogging about a restaurant that has over 5,000 Yelp reviews, but my first time — we all remember our first, right? — to Tartine Bakery must be documented (beyond Instagram). 

THE CALLING

In all honestly, I can't believe I've lived in the Bay for 6 years and had never made the trek for a $5 pastry. I had heard about it, dreamt about it, but never actually committed to the hyped-up bakery. It only took a foggy morning and a random longing to be in Paris for me to finally commit. Luckily, the rest of SF didn't share in my craving for caffeine and carbs because the line was tiiiiinyyyyy! 

THE PROCESS

This part was rather easy and mostly based on my senses and a few Foursquare suggestions (duh). Also, my friend and I had decided before hand that there was going to be no holding back; we'd deal with the consequences later. Twenty-five dollars down, here's what we got...

1 Iced Coffee (it was really strong, none of that Starbucks -ish) 

1 Latte (served in bowl — obvi) 

1 Large Bread Pudding (suggested by social media) 

1 Chocolate Croissant  (classic)

1 Coconut Macaroon (only one because I hate coconut) 

1 Buttermilk Scone (because it looked good)

THE EXPERIENCE  

Epic. Overwhelming. Orgasmic. Ideal. Should I go on?

I'm not exaggerating. I truly think this was one of the best "foodie" experiences I have ever had. For starters, I usually talk sh^t about bread pudding. But, whatever was in this recipe was unreal and extremely addictive — rehab worthy. Croissants aren't my thing either. I only eat them because French women do and they're skinny. Yet this particular croissant was the best thing I've ever had. It was flakey, buttery, sweet, gooey, and perfectly crispy. It was truly a gift from God. The scone was the real deal too. It tasted exactly like the scones I have in Ireland and those are hard to beat.

THE AFTERMATH 

 I'm almost embarrassed that I'm taking the time to write a post about a such a simple Saturday morning, but Tartine Bakery is truly worth the hype. If you haven't yet been or are planning to come to SF, do your tastebuds a favor and enjoy this Mission moment. 

I imagine true love to be like this...

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Not Important Things

Back by popular demand...

Here are 15 more things, aside from these things, that I betcha didn't know about me!

1. I'm a grazer. I'd choose snacks over a feast any day. 

2. I support any combination that involves chocolate, peanut butter, and bananas. 

3. I've never seen Star Wars. The force isn't with me.  

4. My go-to drink is a glass of wine (preferably red).  

5. I rarely sleep past 7am.

6. I think self-tanner is a necessity. 

7. I almost always paint my nails with OPI's Mod About You

8. I will find any excuse to celebrate. 

9. I don't believe in camping. 

10.  Two things I can't live without? Lipstick and hair ties. 

11. I sometimes go to Whole Foods to relax (my sister does the same thing). 

12. I signed the lease on my apartment because it was close to Barneys NY

13. I look forward to my morning cup of coffee.

14. I truly believe in lucky pennies.

15. I go to church every Sunday. It keeps me sane.  

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Death Threats in Zumba Class

Tonight I went to Zumba class. It didn't end well. Here's why: 

 

1. I have NO coordination whatsoever. This is mostly to blame on being an ex-swimmer. For those of you who don't know, swimmers are the kids who got thrown in the pool because we sucked at normal sports like soccer.   

2. Rhythm. What rhythm? I gave up dance years ago. I got kicked out of ballet class and can only dance like Beyonce after a cocktail. 

3. I'm tall (and awkward). I really wish I could drop it low...but tonight proved otherwise. 

4. I don't own Zumba attire. I'm convinced that those in a neon tank top and that ugly, nurse-sneaker hybrid are the only ones who can keep up

5. I can't shake what my mama gave me...because she gave me none. Sorry mom, but I got dad's flat, flat butt. 

6. The teacher is crazy and questionably on drugsNot kidding.

7. I have no right to be at the gym. It's true. I should be home pinning or better yet, at happy hour. 

8. I'm only used to suburban Zumba, not city Zumba. Suburban Zumba is filled with housewives and high-schoolers . . . not professionals who go to art school and have been finalists on SYTYCD

9. I suck at positioning. Being the blonde I am, I situated myself in the only corner of the room where the teacher was NO WHERE TO BE SEEN. This meant I had absolutely no idea what was going on. None. 

10. I waited until March to have a New Year's resolution. Actually, I waited until I overdosed on pizza. Long story short, no one told me that each class was an accumulation of moves from the week past.  

A picture from my first and last dance class as a child. Notice how I wasn't even dancing... 

A picture from my first and last dance class as a child. Notice how I wasn't even dancing... 

Side notes: Seeing myself dance in the mirror, I want to apologize to all those who have ever gone out with me on a Saturday night. I also want to apologize to the girl next to me. Poor thing, had to witness a train wreck up close and personal. 

The end. 

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